Let's face it , we've all done it.
You're sitting in Costa enjoying your coffee ☕️ when you spot someone walking by in socks and sandals 🧦🩴
Before you know it, you're shaking your head laughing to yourself and thinking, "Fashion police, did they look in the mirror before they left the house!!!”
Or maybe you see a couple sitting in complete silence on the next table no convo at all and you silently appoint yourself the next Anna Raeburn.
Judging people, it's the guilty pleasure we can’t help but indulge in, like sneaking an extra piece of cake when no one’s looking!🤫
So why do we do it?
Well to judge is so easy isn’t it and let’s be honest doesn't require much thinking or reasoning. Our brains are wired to make automatic judgments about others' behaviours so that we can move through the world without spending much time or energy in understanding everything we see.
But by doing this we can shut ourselves down to the bigger picture which prevents us from understanding the full situation or a new truth that is not known yet 💭
The world around us is our mirror, and judging someone does not define who they are, it defines who we are.
More often than not, the things we dislike and judge in others are a reflection of the things we cannot accept about ourselves.
The standard we set for ourselves is the standard we use for the world. The way you measure yourself is how you measure others, and how you assume others measure you.
So, “Be kind to yourself first, and when it comes to the socks and sandals guy who let’s face it we are a little bit jealous of because he clearly doesn’t give a shit what people think and that’s a great way to be, let’s try to:
✨Be more open before we judge, let us try to understand with an open mind 🧠
✨Be Curious 🧐
We can remain in curiosity, knowing that there is something about the situation that we may not fully understand.
(Fungal foot infection? Comfort over style? Lost his trainers? 👟 Just confident in himself 👏)
✨Be Empathetic 🫶
Let us be empathetic and give the benefit of the doubt to others for their situation or the circumstances that may not be in our full awareness.
(He may not be able to afford other shoes?)
✨Be Self-Aware
Practice being self-aware through self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. The more we understand ourselves, the more we can understand others; knowing our tendencies will help us assess fairly, patiently, and compassionately.
(Not caring what people think about our appearance!)
BUT and it’s a big BUT if we are honest it’s unrealistic to say, “Stop judging others,” as all our attempts against our instinctive human nature may go in vain, as it’s not as straightforward as it appears.
Instead, as above 👆 points show we can learn to become more self aware when we judge, and through that awareness, move on to adopt more interesting thought patterns.
We can also be more appreciative and compassionate of the world around us for what it is, rather than trying to fit it into our vision of what is right!
And so, the next time you catch yourself silently judging someone's outfit, lifestyle choice, or questionable dance moves at a wedding, remember, we're all starring in our own little soaps 🎬
Some days, we're the stars, and other days, we're the crazy side characters making questionable choices.
So, let’s keep the judging light, the laughs plentiful, and remember this, everyone’s just trying to make it through this reality TV show called life.
And who knows? The person you're judging might just be judging you back, and in that case, let's hope they're giving you a glowing review!" 🫶
Before I go I’ll leave you with these quotes:
“Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” ~ Ian MacLaren
Through judging, we separate. Through understanding, we grow” ~ Doe Zantamata
Thanks for reading
Nic x
#brainhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #judging #thinkoutsideofthebox #growthmindset #SelfAwarenessJourney #EmpathyAndUnderstanding #bekindtooneanother 🧠🫶
