It’s summer holidays!!! ☀️
It’s 2pm and your average teenager is just waking up, stumbling into the kitchen like a zombie on a quest for food!
Welcome to the land of the perpetually groggy, where daylight is optional and breakfast can consist of Doritos and energy drinks. If you thought vampires were the only creatures who shun the sun and thrive on questionable snacks, you've clearly never met a teenager on summer holidays ,up all night on tik tok, snap chatting friends and gaming then sleeping in all morning!!
But before we go in on them believe it or not- it’s not actually their fault!
Let’s look at why and try to understand the teen brain 🧠
It doesn’t matter how smart your teenager is a teens good judgment isn’t something they can excel in, at least not yet.
Can you believe that the rational part of a teen’s brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until age 25! (Oh no 🙈 you thought it got better when they left high school didn’t you? … Nope you’ve got nearly another 10 years!)
In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently.
Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences.
Whereas teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part.
In teens' brains, the connections between the emotional part of the brain and the decision making center are still developing, and not always at the same rate.
That’s why when teens have overwhelming emotional input, they can’t explain later what they were thinking. They weren’t thinking as much as they were feeling.
So what’s a parent to do?
You’re the most important role model your children have. Without doubt their friends are important to them, but the way you behave and fulfill your responsibilities will have a profound and long lasting effect on your children.
🧠Discussing the consequences of their actions can help teens link impulsive thinking with facts. This helps the brain make these connections and wires the brain to make this link more often.
🧠Remind your teens that they’re resilient and competent. Because they’re so focused in the moment, teens have trouble seeing that they can play a part in changing bad situations. It can help to remind them of times in the past that they thought would be devastating but turned out for the best.
🧠Become familiar with things that are important to your teens. It doesn’t mean you have to like hip-hop music, but showing an interest in the things they’re involved in shows them they’re important to you.
🧠Ask teens if they want you to respond when they come to you with problems, or if they just want you to listen.
🧠Teen brains need more sleep than adults. Try to guide your teen toward good sleep habits.
We as parents tend to jump in with advice to try to fix our children’s problems or place blame. But this can make teens less likely to be open with us in the future. You want to make it emotionally safe and easy for them to come to you so you can be part of their lives.
Signs of trouble
It’s normal for teens to be down or out of sorts for a couple of days. But if you see a significant mood or behavioral change that lasts more than 2 weeks, it could mean something else is going on, such as depression. Many mental health issues may come about during the teen years.
If you think your teen could be depressed, quickly seek professional treatment for your child. Depression is serious and, if left untreated, can be life threatening.
Your teen needs your guidance, even though they may think they don’t. Understanding their development can help you support them in becoming independent, responsible adults.
And so, while the teenage brain may seem like a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a hoodie, one thing is clear: it's a phase of life filled with contradictions. They’re nocturnal creatures who need sleep but refuse to get it, hungry beings who crave junk food but turn their noses up at anything green, and social butterflies who simultaneously declare their need for independence while asking for a mum or dad taxi ride to their mates, the shops or even school ( Remember the days when we walked or got a bus! )
But rest assured, as they stumble through this maze of hormones and high school, they will eventually emerge as fully functional adults. (At 25!)
Until then, just remember: patience, humor, and an endless supply of pizza 🍕 are the keys to survival.
To all the parents out there this summer holidays, good luck!!
And in the words of the iconic Take That,
🎶 “Have a little patience “🎶
Thanks for reading
Nic x
